


Tenth

by ausfil



Category: Westlife
Genre: Closeted, Closeted Character, Clothed Sex, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Frottage, Grinding, Growth, Kissing, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, New Years, Nipple Play, Porn with Feelings, Reminiscing, Suit Porn, Suit Sex, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:22:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22028515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ausfil/pseuds/ausfil
Summary: On their tenth New Year’s Eve together, they think about a time when it hadn’t been this easy.
Relationships: Nicky Byrne/Shane Filan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	Tenth

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone has the brightest 2020 filled with lots of love and happiness, like I'm sure these two husbands will. Happy New Year!

Nicky jolted awake to a jab at his arm.

“Stop falling asleep!” Shane shrieked.

“But I’m tired,” he stretched out a yawn and snuggled up to his husband who was trying to resist. “Can we go to bed?”

“It’s not even half ten yet.” Shane gave into a silly chuckle. “You really are getting old.”

“Shut up. You’re in your forties now too.”

“At least I’m awake for New Years! Unlike someone.”

“What’s the big deal anyway? We’ve had forty of these. People count down from ten. The clock hits twelve. Someone kisses someone. Then it’s just another year. It’s always the same thing.”

“So you’re getting old _and_ cynical. That’s good to know.”

“Trust me, kiddo. Once you hit forty-one, you’ll get what I mean.” Nicky laughed when Shane shoved him away. “And we’ve had like fifty of these together.”

“This is our _tenth_ together, excuse me.” Shane crossed his arms with a glare. Nicky had never seen such a cute glare.

But he held back a laugh. On the urge to kiss that little pout. He didn’t actually want to risk making Shane mad. Not before New Year’s. And their _tenth_ at that. Nicky hadn’t realised, to be honest, but that seemed to always fall in Shane’s job. The mathematician remembering every anniversary while Nicky spent half the time apologising for forgetting. “Is that why you want me to stay awake?”

“I want to spend it with you. Ten’s a special number.” Shane reached out to hold his hand and that pout melted into a soft smile – one that Nicky fell in love with twenty years ago, kissed for the first time ten years ago, and would die for today.

“It is. I’m sorry.” Nicky held the hand in his tighter and rested his head back on the couch. “Tell me a story. Our first New Years together.”

“The night of Mark’s party?”

Nicky nodded.

“Will that keep you awake?”

Nicky nodded again.

“Okay, well, for one thing, you were being annoying.” Shane began, relishing the easy air where their laughs entwined.

It hadn’t been this easy ten years ago. Not at all.

As forgetful as Nicky was about anniversaries, he could distinctly remember the way Shane had looked that night ten years ago, getting ready for the New Year’s party. Shane had been putting on a suit in front of the mirror, yapping on about his day, laughing at his own jokes throughout, and there had been something special about him in that moment. Something exceptionally more contenting and comforting than any other moment in the world. Nicky hadn’t wanted it to end.

“Do we have to go?” He’d whined, his white shirt not buttoned up yet as he’d lied down on the bed; no real desire to get up.

Shane looked at Nicky through the mirror. “Mark wants a fancy suit party at his place. We’ll give him a fancy suit party at his place.”

“Urgh, I’m sick of wearing these. All we’ve done lately is wear these and sing dumb carols for dumb shows.”

“If it helps, you look delicious in them.”

“Yeah?” Nicky propped himself up on his elbow, raising his eyebrow and not losing Shane’s gaze. “Delicious, huh?”

Shane chuckled and rolled his eyes. He looked back at his own reflection to finish with his tie. “Don’t start. We have to get going soon.”

“Why not start?” Nicky bounced out of bed and across the room. Put his arms around Shane’s waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. “Do I look delicious?”

“I’m not playing this game. We’re going to be late!” Shane tried to wiggle out of the embrace, but Nicky spun him around, looking down into his startled eyes.

“Is it bad that I want to leave the party already?” Nicky whispered with a smirk.

Shane licked his lips, his tense body slightly melting into arms that were so firm around him. For a moment, he wanted to ditch the party. He wanted to ditch the entire world – his own world was right here, holding him.

“I’m serious. Let’s not go,” Nicky pleaded, the smirk wiping itself off a little. “Let’s just… stay here.”

Shane tilted his head, concerned. He’d thought Nicky was just being lazy. Whiney. “Is something wrong?”

Nicky shook his head and lowered his gaze.

“Talk to me,” Shane was looking up at him, a small hand gently running through his hair.

“It’s just… This is our first New Year’s together, and I won’t even be able to kiss you at midnight. I… I hate that.”

The thought of every other couple kissing their partners after the countdown; their promises and dreams being ignited by their soft exchanges. Every other couple except themselves, standing apart not even holding hands, pretending like they were nothing more than friends. Like their promise meant less than all the others blooming in the room. Their dreams being exactly just that. Dreams, forever concealed, while everyone else’s were kissed and blessed by the fireworks of the midnight sky.

Nicky didn’t think he could stand it. Not today.

“I hate that,” Nicky whispered again as a tug of woe tickled his lips. Shane’s eyes softened as they looked far into his. Saddened as he let out a sigh. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, love.” Shane leaned up to kiss him gently, then pulled back to rest his forehead on Nicky’s shoulder. “I hate it too.”

“You know, it’s about time we tell them,” Nicky suggested, hesitation clouding his own voice that wanted to sound confident about this for once.

Shane just nodded. They’d had this conversation too many times. Let’s tell them. Let’s tell everyone. They’ll be fine. And they would be, Shane believed. Of course. But it was better this way, kept in the dark just for themselves, a safe little room in the corner of their lives. It was better this way, even when it wasn’t.

“All I want is to kiss you at midnight,” Nicky closed his eyes and buried his lips into Shane’s hair, reddened words sinking through those locks and melting through to his brain, his heart.

“Ten. Nine.”

“What are you doing?” Nicky chuckled despite himself. Shane lifted his head from his shoulder, smiling as he continued the countdown.

“Eight,” Shane gently nudged him back. “Seven,” another step back. “Six,” Nicky’s heels hit the bed. He sat down. “Five,” Shane sat on his lap, knees straddling him from both sides, with a grin that made Nicky’s heart explode.

“Four,” Nicky counted, hands secured around Shane’s waist.

“Three. Two.” Nicky saw Shane’s lips tremble for a second as the numbers were said. A faint trace of tears in the hazel eyes in front of him, so close to him, shining in a sad light. For the next second, Nicky thought maybe he should stop the countdown and give him a hug instead. “Can you say one?” Shane’s voice was thickening, the faint trace becoming clearer, breaking Nicky’s heart.

“Shane…”

“Say it for me.” Shane inched closer, their lips only a breath away from touching. “Please?” he whispered.

Nicky brought one hand up to caress Shane’s jaw, his thumb smoothing over a hitching cheek trying to hold tears back. “One,” he uttered quietly, almost mouthing it.

“Now kiss me.”

Nicky didn’t think he would ever say no to that. He didn’t think there was a single bone in him that wouldn’t go weak at those words, a single nerve that wasn’t in love with this boy, with those tears dangling from the brightest hazel eyes, and the vulnerable soul held in them. The sheer beauty of who Shane was. How his kiss made him feel.

“Happy New Year, my love,” Shane pulled back for a moment to susurrate, their foreheads touching.

“Happy New Year,” Nicky whispered back.

“Kiss me again.”

Yeah. Not a single bone. Not a single nerve.

His bones crumbled when Shane moaned into his mouth, arms coming around his neck and yanking them closer together. Slow tender kisses creeped forward over time, approaching mindlessness and playing with its borderline of surged energy.

From one wet exchange to the next, Nicky felt his suit pants tighten. And that borderline was crossed when Shane moaned into his mouth again, those hands travelling south along his back, every smooth touch doing nothing but making him harder.

Nicky pulled back for a breath. Maybe even a tiny possibility of going back to the other side of that line to make it to the party which he almost forgot about. “Didn’t you say we’ll be late?” He puffed, but his hands weren’t letting go of Shane.

“I don’t care,” Shane rushed and didn’t waste a second before he dipped down to kiss Nicky’s neck. The most perfect spots that he knew would make him incapable of words.

Then Shane ground his hips down, and the borderline really was crossed.

“Fuck…” Nicky growled when Shane ground down again. The pressure of pants against pants, rough fabric being forced onto his most sensitive skin by a roll of Shane’s smooth hips – Nicky couldn’t even see the line anymore. The party was non-existent, as far as he was concerned.

Nicky reached down to rub the erection shifting in Shane’s pants. Probably nowhere near enough needed friction, but Shane was grunting in his ear and Nicky almost didn’t want to give him the friction he needed. Just to hear that desperation, the pathetically beautiful whimpering, the delicate tremble of Shane’s body against his.

He ran his knuckles along the covered flesh. “Don’t stop grinding,” Nicky clenched. Sneaked a smirk when Shane flinched along to the rhythm of his knuckles while still trying to rut against him. Shane was so good for him. Always.

“More, I…” Shane hissed through his gritted teeth, hips not knowing to disobey an order. Don’t stop grinding. Don’t. Don’t stop.

“More what?” Nicky teased.

“Touch me.”

And with every desperate grind of Shane against his pulsing warmth, Nicky was also desperate. He wanted to break Shane into pieces. Wanted to hear him cry and shake with the overwhelming want and need for a climax. He wanted to be the one to bring him to the absolute edge of the cliff, making him dangle on the tips of his fingers.

Nicky trailed his hand up to Shane’s nipples instead. Hard, perking through his white button-up shirt.

“No, not…” Shane groaned.

Nicky voiced a laugh that was cut off by his own moan when Shane kept rubbing his crack against him. “You didn’t mean there?” Shane shook his head then lifted it from the home of Nicky’s neck for the first time. “Tell me you don’t like this.” He squeezed it. A slight twist that made Shane’s face scrunch, his body flinch.

“I…” Shane tried to breathe through it all. Through another twist that Nicky tortured him with. “I like it,” he admitted, red blushing his cheeks.

“Think you can come just from this?”

The words shivered violently up Shane’s back.

Nicky looked at the bulge in Shane’s pants about to rip through expensive fabric, and when he looked back up, Shane was biting down on a shy smile, cheeks flushed and eyes so exhausted, but still somehow shining brighter than before.

“Well, can you?” Nicky brushed his thumbs over the nipples again, watching this boy ache.

Looking into those eyes, Nicky thought maybe it wasn’t so bad that they were a secret. Other people knowing about them wasn’t as important. What was important was this boy in his lap, so achingly kind, so achingly beautiful, so achingly in love.

The way he sobbed when Nicky rubbed them again. So sensitive. Pure light sparking in his eyes with every soft brush, every excruciating tug. The way Shane threw his head back while releasing a delicate moan that was hidden from the rest of the world.

Nicky was so achingly in love with all of this and more.

Shane nodded in the end, shifting along Nicky’s cock that wasn’t too far off either.

Nicky leaned forward to kiss his cheek. Then a rub. Rub. Rub. Shane flinching underneath his touch. Another kiss. Another rub. Another flinch. A sharp gasp piercing past his ear.

“ _Fuck_ , Nicky, I…” Shane’s voice was thick.

“I got you,” Nicky whispered against the warm skin of Shane’s cheek. “I got you, love.”

“Just a little more.” Shane was trembling in his arms. Heavy breaths echoed through the air with every touch that bounced between hard and soft. Pinches and twists between a tender, consoling rub. “Little more,” Shane panted, clawing at his back.

Nicky felt every shiver radiating as Shane came in his pants and collapsed in his arms, head resting on his shoulder as he tried to regulate his breath.

But if there was anything more breathtaking in the middle of all of this, it was that Shane was still grinding on him. Still hungry to please. With every heavy breath came an exhausted but determined drag across Nicky’s cock. He couldn’t care less about chaffing. The tough material of his boxers dug into his skin with the motions, and it was delicious.

“Ah, that’s good,” Nicky gasped, twitching as he edged closer. “So good. Love. Love, I… Fuck. Shane.”

“I got you this time.” Nicky could almost hear the smirk in Shane’s voice.

“Keep going.” He tightened his grip around Shane’s waist. Felt it roll gracefully at the tip of his words, like he had all the waves of the sea in the palm of his hand.

Nicky’s pants were ruined just seconds later, a howl buried in Shane’s hair.

“Guess we have to change out of our pants,” Nicky joked through his stiff chest. A heavenly laugh echoed in his ear.

“My arse is wet because of you.” Shane’s joking tone was a clear contrast with the kisses that were being laid ever so gently along Nicky’s jawline. A contrast that Nicky could get comfortable with. He closed his eyes and felt his own smile get a little wider with every kiss. “Happy New Year,” Shane uttered in between the trail.

“That was a hell of a midnight kiss.”

Shane chuckled, each puff of air being tattooed onto the skin of his chin. When he pulled his head back, Nicky looked down at the front of Shane’s pants. The criminally obvious stain.

“Maybe you should just go in these.”

Shane shifted back a little to reveal Nicky’s stain that he was sitting on. “You gonna go into a room full of people with that?”

“I can’t imagine a better coming out scenario than both of us walking into a party with come stains on our pants.”

“God, that would be-“ Shane glanced at his watch over Nicky’s shoulder. He shot up. “Fuck, we’re late!”

Nicky tried to pull him back onto his lap. He missed the weight. “Ah, it’ll be fine. He’ll have heaps of other people there.”

Shane reached for his phone. Showed him the texts that had piled up from Mark, asking where in the bloody world he was. Nicky didn’t even want to look at his phone. It probably hadn’t looked too different.

“Get up get up get up.” Shane pulled Nicky up to his feet.

Shane started to peel his pants off. “Alright now you’re just _trying_ to seduce me.”

Shane rolled his eyes and chucked his wet boxer shorts at him. Nicky caught it. Chucked it back with a giggle.

They really hadn’t had the time to play catch with their stained underwear. But the game had lasted longer than they’d intended, and when Mark finally cracked and called, Nicky had covered his mouth with his hand, watching as Shane had stumbled on with excuses about taking a nap and sleeping through his alarm. But he was on his way. And that, no, he had no idea where Nicky was, asking ‘is he not there yet?’.

Nicky remembered wanting to cry. Wanting to scream across the phone that he was here too. But he had remained covering his mouth, holding his breath.

And here they were, ten years later, being able to breathe freely and kiss at any time, any place.

Because it was much larger than just a New Year’s kiss, they realised. It was about every day. Every minute. The daily blossom of confidence when holding a lover’s hand in public without caring whether the world would bite them or not. Reaching that first blossom of the first day, then an eventual flower field embraced by the Sun’s light.

It was about that, more than anything else. Because the world could bite as hard as it wanted, but Nicky had the entire flower field right here in his hand. Indestructible.

“Do you think you could still come just from me touching your nipples? Or was that something you could only do in your thirties?”

“I bet you I can do it even faster in my forties.” Nicky laughed when Shane elbowed him. Kissed Shane’s forehead when he laid his head down on his shoulder with a content sigh. “God, that feels like such a long time ago, doesn’t it?”

“I know. And it is.” Nicky fiddled with the ring on his left hand, smiling about a time that he once couldn’t smile about at all. “I don’t miss it, to be honest.”

“Me neither.”

To think they came from hiding away from all their friends, not even being able to kiss at midnight, to kissing at the wedding altar in front of everyone they’ve ever known, to now, in their own home and together reaching an age where it was so goddamn hard to stay up until midnight.

“Is it 2020 yet?” Nicky asked, rubbing his eyes.

“It’s half ten.”

“ _Urgh_. That’s it. I’m going to sleep.” He closed his eyes, lips already inching up just waiting for Shane’s reaction.

“Oi!” Shane yelled and bounced on the couch. God, Nicky really did love this idiot.

“Can’t you just count down from ten like you did that night?” He whined playfully. “We can have our own midnight again. It was really romantic.”

“That was different! That was our only option back then. Get up.” Shane yanked on his arm to sit him up. Nicky obliged, mirth tickling his lips.

“Ten, nine,” Nicky started. Burst into laughter when Shane genuinely looked annoyed. That short-breathed grunt and a wrinkled forehead holding thunder. “Alright alright. I’ll stay up with you. Tell me another story about us then. Keep me awake.”

“Umm…” Shane bit down on his bottom lip, contemplating, lost in the world of the countless stories he could choose from over the last ten years.

Nicky waited, his heart full to its absolute brim. It beat just as loud as it did ten years ago, as it did through all of these stories, memories carved into their wrinkles, and as it did watching as Shane’s face brightened up when he picked one.

Sleep could wait.


End file.
